


Temporary Home - Remastered

by FallenAngelWorks



Series: Before He Cheats [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: It really is just mature because of the language, Language, Other, There isn't much else to mention, fear not, the good shit is coming soon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 08:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16783471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngelWorks/pseuds/FallenAngelWorks
Summary: I hadn't hunted, in almost six months. My head wasn't screwed on tight enough, but I couldn't run away for ever. Besides, everything is temporary.





	Temporary Home - Remastered

_Little boy, six years old_

_A little too use to being alone_

Garth stood at the door, and he offered me a wide, childish smile and an animated wave, before pushing past me into my room. I pinched at the bridge of my nose as I slowly closed the door behind him, thinking that this was a new low, even for Sam. _If he thinks sending Garth is going to make me come back, he’s got another thing fuckin coming._

_Another new mom and dad, another school_

_Another house that’ll never be home_

When I turned to ask him to leave, Garth was tearing down the blankets and carefully folding them. The light that filtered through the curtains wasn’t as intense as when they wouldn’t be pulled, but I still had to squint against the light. He crouched down to look under the bed, and then pulled my forgotten duffle bag from under it, and started collecting the clothes that were strewn across the room. He chattered at me as he tidied.

“I have this thing that I need help with, and Sam said that he was tied up in his own case right now, and I burned a bridge with Rigs, so he won’t help me either. It’s a weird one, and I remembered you saying you liked weird ones!” Garth was quickly and efficiently folding my clothes and tucking them into the bag, and I felt a knot form in my throat as I tried to find the heart to tell him I didn’t hunt anymore.

_When people ask him how he likes this place_

_He looks up and says with a smile upon his face_

“Listen Garth, I-I want to help you, but-but I-” He interrupted me as he moved into the bathroom, and came back with my all my toiletries bundled in his arm to pack away with my other belongings.

“I know, you’re on your way back home, but I _promise_ it’ll be quick! Just a couple days detour, and then you’ll be back in the bunker before you know it! I mean, you did just finish a hunt here, that’s why you’re in Miami right? Sam said it was a fang or something.” My eyes strung, and then I was turning away, trying to make sure Garth’s hopeful face wouldn’t see me cry. I heard my bag being dropped on the floor, and then wiry hands were tugging at my shoulders, Garth quietly asking what was wrong. I felt the sob before I heard it, and then I was bundled into Garth’s lanky from on the bed as his hand stroked my hair, the other keeping me pressed firmly to him.

_This is my temporary home_

_It’s not where I belong_

Garth held me silently as he allowed me to cry, and once my tears began to subside, he quietly asked what was wrong again. I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling from my lips like a waterfall. Everything poured out, all the hurt, all the pain, all the _betrayal._

_Windows and rooms, that I’m passin’ through_

_This is just a stop, on the way to where I’m going_

When I chanced a look at Garth after spilling my horrible little sob story, he looked about ready to kill. Garth didn’t have the face to be angry, he never quite got the eyebrows or frown correct, but at that moment, he looked pretty damn scary. He let out a harsh breath, before opening his mouth to speak.

“That good for nothin’ Winchester! How could anyone hurt someone as sweet as you (Y/N)? Why, the next time I see him I’ll-I’ll- _I’ll kill him!_ Me _and_ Mr. Fizzles!” Garth pulled out the sock puppet, and suddenly, I was giggling. The sound of my own laughter was foreign, but it felt like a million pounds was pulled off my shoulders. It was like I had been drowning, and my laughter was me coming for air after _years._

_I’m not afraid because I know this is my,_

_Temporary Home_

After my giggles subsided, I agreed to help Garth with his hunt, decided that it couldn’t hurt me to be out in the world again. I knew I’d need to take it slow, that I wouldn’t be much use until I got my senses back, but Garth could look out for himself. Garth and I piled into his car, and then we were off to Texas.

He had been right, the hunt only took a couple days, and it had been a weird one. A fang and a were had been working together, which is why it took us forever to find the den and exterminate both of them. Feeling my adrenaline and heartrate spike, sweat break out on my forehead, aches settle into my bones, was _exhilarating._ I never knew I could miss hunting so much, never knew that I would miss seeing my body covered in bruises, miss the smell of sweat. I had needed this, and in the end, I decided that staying with Garth was better than hiding in Miami. Once we were fit enough for travel, we returned to Garth’s batcave in Pontiac.

_Young mom, on her own_

_She needs a little help got nowhere to go_

Garth had left on a supply trip a state over, and I was left to hold down the fort. I was flipping listlessly through the newspapers to try and find a hunt, some awful day time TV payed in the background as white noise. Soon the soap opera caught my attention, and I found myself more invested with what was going on between Renaldo and Maria, than finding a case. During the next commercial break, I grabbed myself a beer and some snacks from the kitchen. On my way back into the living room, the doorbell rang interrupting my thoughts. I scrambled to find my credit card and empty my hands, hoping it was the pizza I had ordered. _He sure showed up fast, I only ordered ten minutes ago._ When I pulled the door open, I came face to face with Sam, and Castiel stood in his shadow.

_She’s lookin’ for a job, lookin’ for a way out_

_‘Cause a halfway house will never be a home_

Sam quietly asked if they could come in, and after a moment’s hesitation, I figured it couldn’t hurt any. I stepped out of the way, and Sam and Cas brushed past me into the living room. I moved into the kitchen to retrieve a couple more beers, and then returned, depositing the bottles into my guests hands. Sam downed is beer in seconds, as if h was a man starving for water, and then he was yanking Cas’ out of his hand and draining that bottle too. I pointed at my own, silently asking Cas if he wanted one, but he shook his head and gently prodded Sam. He started into conversation as if he had just been electrocuted.

“Okay (Y/N), you need to call him, _now._ I know you’ll say no, but he _needs_ to hear your voice. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep, he hadn’t showered in _weeks!_ Please, _call him.”_

_At night she whispers to her baby girl_

_Someday we’ll find our place here in this world_

I thought carefully about his words, and looked at the phone he had extended for me. I stared at it blankly, warring with myself. Somewhere in my head, I knew I was being childish, running away rather than facing my problems. I knew that I was still hurting, that _Dean_ was still hurting, and that Sam and Cas were suffering because of it. _I’m not ready._ I wasn’t ready to speak to him, I wasn’t ready to hear him sound hopeful that I was coming back. I wasn’t ready to allow him to think that his actions were okay, that they didn’t have consequences. I shook my head slowly, and I watched Sam’s face fall.

“No. I can’t talk to him right now. He can’t think that what he did is okay, and me talking to him says that. I’m sorry Sam, but right now, I can’t care about him. I need to get my head straight, and the only way I can do that is by hunting. I need to get back in the game Sam, and I can’t do that if I’m thinking about _him.”_

_This is our temporary home_

_It’s not where we belong_

The doorbell rang, and I reached for my forgotten credit card, and moved to answer the door. I paid for the pizza, and set it down on the table near the door, before turning to Sam and Cas.

_Windows and rooms, that we’re passin’ through_

_This is just a stop, and the way to where we’re going_

“I think it’s time for you to leave now. I’ll call you in a couple of weeks, let you know what’s going on with Garth and I.” Sam looked at me, eyes filled with horror, before he stood up slowly, looking quite defeated. He exited the open door, and I watched him get into the passenger side of Cas’ car. I turned to stare Castiel down, and he was staring at the table, as if trying to burn a hole through it. I hear Sam call out for him, and then he was up and walking towards the door. Before he passed over the threshold, he turned on his heel, looked me in the eyes and opened his mouth.

“He didn’t sleep with her.”

_I’m not afraid because I know, this is our_

_Temporary Home_

I rubbed my hand over my forehead, and let out an exhausted sigh before responding.

“I’m not angry because he slept with her, I’m angry that he had every intention _to_ sleep with her. I was late, by _less_ than ten minutes, and he decided to grab the first girl that batted her eyes at him. Now, I’ll talk to you in two weeks Castiel.” He turned around without another word, and I watched him climb into his car before I closed the door. I looked to the pizza on the table, the box still warm, and decided I wasn’t hungry anymore.

_Old man, hospital bed_

_The room is filled with people he loves_

Garth returned a few hours later, and I decided to conveniently _forget_ about telling him I had visitors. I could see on his face that he knew something was wrong, but he decided to conveniently _forget_ to ask me. For that I was thankful. A few days later Garth and I were headed to Upstate New York for a ghost case. My mind was still cluttered from my visit with Sam and Cas, and for the very first time in my life, I had no idea what I wanted.

_And he whispers, don’t cry for me_

_I’ll see you all someday_

Sam had decided to keep his distance, taking my calls when I had the time and patience for him, favoring to nurse his brother back to health. Castiel took a more direct approach, hoping that berating me was going to get him what he wanted. He took to pooping up whenever Garth was out for more than an hour. After several weeks of the silent treatment, he got aggressive. Garth was on a food run, and like clockwork, Castiel popped up in the living room. When I got up to leave, to lock myself in the bathroom because that seemed to be the only area Cas saw as completely off limits, when I found myself pressed up against a wall, Cas’ had wrapped firmly around my throat.

“I’m not leaving until you _call **him.**_ He needs to hear your voice from something other than the videos on his phone (Y/N). Call him. _Now.”_ I struggled against his hold, and then suddenly my knee was in his groin, and I was dropping to my knees on the floorboards. Once I recovered and my chest settled, I was wrestling Castiel to the ground, straddling his waist, and beating my hand into his face. He kept his arms splayed out at his sides, not even trying to protect himself from the onslaught. It pissed me off more that he wanted me to hit him, and so I hit him harder. I could feel my bones breaking in my hand against his face, btu I couldn’t bring myself to stop until I realized that tears were sliding down my cheeks. I rolled off him, and gripped the grotesque mess of my hand to my chest. I listened as Castiel sat him, and I looke dover my shoulder to watch him wipe the blood from his nose and mouth.

“If you won’t call, _please,_ let me show you.” Ihad never heard Cas sound so broken, and so in a moment of weakness, I yielded. Cas pressed two tentative fingers to my forehead, and then I was zapped waway to what I assumed was one of Cas’ memories.

_He looks up and says, I can see God’s face_

_“Dean, you have to shower, it’s been a week. Here, eat this.” I watched from what I assumed to be Castiel’s perspective as Sam tried to place a plate with a sandwich on it in Dean’s lap. He pushed it away and curled deeper into the blankets and pillows on the bed. I noticed that the room was darker than usual, and I relized that Dean had ether pulled or smashed the lightbulbs to the lamps couldn’t be turned on. The only light in the room, was coming from a propped-up flashlight._

_“Sam…I can’t do anything without her. I-I don’t even know what I’m **supposed** to do without her. I feel like I’m dying Sammy.” Dean’s voiced sounded hoarse from crying, and the crushed tone said the crying had been recent. His eyes were red, nose and cheeks puffy, and I had to close my eyes as Sam sat on the bed and attempted to force feed his brother. I didn’t want to see anymore. _

_This is my temporary home_

When I opened my eyes next, I was back in my living room, Cas was gone, and my hand had been healed. I looked to where Cas had been sitting, and noticed a single, navy feather, too large to belong to any bird. I almost laughed at how comical it was, but I picked up the feather as if it were glass, and stared at it. Soon, it was stained with tears, the navy color darkening to black. I couldn’t say why I was sad, but I was, and the ache in my chest burrowed deeper. After a few minutes, I realized that I wasn’t really angry anymore, I wasn’t really hurt – I was homesick. I missed the bunker, the way it always smelled like whiskey and home cooking, and the dusty books, and the comfortable chairs, and the softness of the sheets in all the bedrooms. I missed Sam, and Cas, and admittedly, I missed Dean.

_It’s not where I belong_

When Garth got back, I could see on his face the moment he realized I was leaving. I tried to explain, but before I could get a word in, he was raising his hand, saying he understood. He helped me pack my things, and then he was helping me pack my car. He stood on the houses stoop, and watched as I pulled out of the parking spot beside his truck. As I drove away, he ran out to the middle of the street, and then he was waving, a sad smile on his face.

_Windows and rooms, that I’m passin’ through_

It took me three days to get back to the bunker. Kansas really wasn’t that far, but I made as many stops as I could, trying to talk myself into staying, then trying to talk myself back into leaving.

_This was just a stop, on the way to where I’m going_

I stood at the heavy door, my hand glued to the handle. I felt tears build, knowing that if I stepped inside, my decision would be final, I’d be back, and I’d have to face Dean and what he did.

_I’m not afraid because I know, this was my,_

I closed my eyes tightly, and reflected on the last year. Garth had been safe, and I would never be able to express how much I appreciated him for letting me stay, for letting me get comfortable there. For understanding _why_ I had to _leave_.

_Temporary Home_

I took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. Immediately my nose was assaulted by the familiar smell of whiskey and dust. I stood on the stairs and looked at the library, brightly lit, warm, cozy, _home._ I felt my muscles relax as I started descending the stairs, and then I was calling out.

_This is our temporary home_

“Sam! Cas! I’m home!”

**Author's Note:**

> Part three has arrived. I don't use betas, I prefer to rely on my own editing skills, so if you see something that is grammatically incorrect, or anything else let me know! My eyes don't always work, especially when I've read the same fic eight times scouring for mistakes. Part four will be up soon, but expect there to be a delay after parts four and five are published, because everything past that will be brand new, no more remastering! Hope you guys enjoyed. As per usual, the original can be found on dirty-supernatural-imagines Tumblr page, if you're interested in reading the original fics.


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